TWO days are passed. It is a summer evening; the coachman has set

me down at a place called Whitcross; he could take me no farther for

the sum I had given, and I was not possessed of another shilling in

the world. The coach is a mile off by this time; I am alone. At this

moment I discover that I forgot to take my parcel out of the pocket of

the coach, where I had placed it for safety; there it remains, there

it must remain; and now, I am absolutely destitute.

   Whitcross is no town, nor even a hamlet; it is but a stone pillar

set up where four roads meet: whitewashed, I suppose, to be more

obvious at a distance and in darkness. Four arms spring from its

summit: the nearest town to which these point is, according to the

inscription, distant ten miles; the farthest, above twenty. From the

well-known names of these towns I learn in what county I have lighted;

a north-midland shire, dusk with moorland, ridged with mountain:

this I see. There are great moors behind and on each hand of me; there

are waves of mountains far beyond that deep valley at my feet. The

population here must be thin, and I see no passengers on these

roads: they stretch out east, west, north, and south-white, broad,

lonely; they are all cut in the moor, and the heather grows deep and

wild to their very verge. Yet a chance traveller might pass by; and

I wish no eye to see me now: strangers would wonder what I am doing,

lingering here at the sign-post, evidently objectless and lost. I

might be questioned: I could give no answer but what would sound

incredible and excite suspicion. Not a tie holds me to human society

at this moment- not a charm or hope calls me where my fellow-creatures

are- none that saw me would have a kind thought or a good wish for me.

I have no relative but the universal mother, Nature: I will seek her

breast and ask repose.

   I struck straight into the heath; I held on to a hollow I saw

deeply furrowing the brown moorside; I waded knee-deep in its dark

growth; I turned with its turnings, and finding a moss-blackened

granite crag in a hidden angle, I sat down under it. High banks of

moor were about me; the crag protected my head: the sky was over that.

   Some time passed before I felt tranquil even here: I had a vague

dread that wild cattle might be near, or that some sportsman or

poacher might discover me. If a gust of wind swept the waste, I looked

up, fearing it was the rush of a bull; if a plover whistled, I

imagined it a man. Finding my apprehensions unfounded, however, and

calmed by the deep silence that reigned as evening declined at

nightfall, I took confidence. As yet I had not thought; I had only

listened, watched, dreaded; now I regained the faculty of reflection.

   What was I to do? Where to go? Oh, intolerable questions, when I

could do nothing and go nowhere!- when a long way must yet be measured

by my weary, trembling limbs before I could reach human habitation-

when cold charity must be entreated before I could get a lodging:

reluctant sympathy importuned, almost certain repulse incurred, before

my tale could be listened to, or one of my wants relieved!

   I touched the heath: it was dry, and yet warm with the heat of

the summer day. I looked at the sky; it was pure: a kindly star

twinkled just above the chasm ridge. The day fell, but with propitious

softness; no breeze whispered. Nature seemed to me benign and good;

I thought she loved me, outcast as I was; and I, who from man could

anticipate only mistrust, rejection, insult, clung to her with

filial fondness. To-night, at least, I would be her guest, as I was

her child: my mother would lodge me without money and without price. I

had one morsel of bread yet: the remnant of a roll I had bought in a

town we passed through at noon with a stray penny- my last coin. I saw

ripe bilberries gleaming here and there, like jet beads in the

heath: I gathered a handful and ate them with the bread. My hunger,

sharp before, was, if not satisfied, appeased by this hermit's meal. I

said my evening prayers at its conclusion, and then chose my couch.

   Beside the crag the heath was very deep: when I lay down my feet

were buried in it; rising high on each side, it left only a narrow

space for the night-air to invade. I folded my shawl double, and

spread it over me for a coverlet; a low, mossy swell was my pillow.

Thus lodged, I was not, at least at the commencement of the night,

cold.

   My rest might have been blissful enough, only a sad heart broke it.

It plained of its gaping wounds, its inward bleeding, its riven

chords. It trembled for Mr. Rochester and his doom; it bemoaned him

with bitter pity; it demanded him with ceaseless longing; and,

impotent as a bird with both wings broken, it still quivered its

shattered pinions in vain attempts to seek him.

   Worn out with this torture of thought, I rose to my knees. Night

was come, and her planets were risen: a safe, still night: too

serene for the companionship of fear. We know that God is

everywhere; but certainly we feel His presence most when His works are

on the grandest scale spread before us; and it is in the unclouded

night-sky, where His worlds wheel their silent course, that we read

clearest His infinitude, His omnipotence, His omnipresence. I had

risen to my knees to pray for Mr. Rochester. Looking up, I, with

tear-dimmed eyes, saw the mighty Milky-way. Remembering what it was-

what countless systems there swept space like a soft trace of light- I

felt the might and strength of God. Sure was I of His efficiency to

save what He had made: convinced I grew that neither earth should

perish, nor one of the souls it treasured. I turned my prayer to

thanksgiving: the Source of Life was also the Saviour of spirits.

Mr. Rochester was safe: he was God's, and by God would he be

guarded. I again nestled to the breast of the hill; and ere long in

sleep forgot sorrow.

   But next day, Want came to me pale and bare. Long after the

little birds had left their nests; long after bees had come in the

sweet prime of day to gather the heath honey before the dew was dried-

when the long morning shadows were curtailed, and the sun filled earth

and sky- I got up, and I looked round me.

   What a still, hot, perfect day! What a golden desert this spreading

moor! Everywhere sunshine. I wished I could live in it and on it. I

saw a lizard run over the crag; I saw a bee busy among the sweet

bilberries. I would fain at the moment have become bee or lizard, that

I might have found fitting nutriment, permanent shelter here. But I

was a human being, and had a human being's wants: I must not linger

where there was nothing to supply them. I rose; I looked back at the

bed I had left. Hopeless of the future, I wished but this- that my

Maker had that night thought good to require my soul of me while I

slept; and that this weary frame, absolved by death from further

conflict with fate, had now but to decay quietly, and mingle in

peace with the soil of this wilderness. Life, however, was yet in my

possession, with all its requirements, and pains, and

responsibilities. The burden must be carried; the want provided for;

the suffering endured; the responsibility fulfilled. I set out.

   Whitcross regained, I followed a road which led from the sun, now

fervent and high. By no other circumstance had I will to decide my

choice. I walked a long time, and when I thought I had nearly done

enough, and might conscientiously yield to the fatigue that almost

overpowered me- might relax this forced action, and, sitting down on a

stone I saw near, submit resistlessly to the apathy that clogged heart

and limb- I heard a bell chime- a church bell.

   I turned in the direction of the sound, and there, amongst the

romantic hills, whose changes and aspect I had ceased to note an

hour ago, I saw a hamlet and a spire. All the valley at my right

hand was full of pasture-fields, and cornfields, and wood; and a

glittering stream ran zigzag through the varied shades of green, the

mellowing grain, the sombre woodland, the clear and sunny lea.

Recalled by the rumbling of wheels to the road before me, I saw a

heavily-laden waggon labouring up the hill, and not far beyond were

two cows and their drover. Human life and human labour were near. I

must struggle on: strive to live and bend to toil like the rest.

   About two o'clock P.M. I entered the village. At the bottom of

its one street there was a little shop with some cakes of bread in the

window. I coveted a cake of bread. With that refreshment I could

perhaps regain a degree of energy: without it, it would be difficult

to proceed. The wish to have some strength and some vigour returned to

me as soon as I was amongst my fellow-beings. I felt it would be

degrading to faint with hunger on the causeway of a hamlet. Had I

nothing about me I could offer in exchange for one of these rolls? I

considered. I had a small silk handkerchief tied round my throat; I

had my gloves. I could hardly tell how men and women in extremities of

destitution proceeded. I did not know whether either of these articles

would be accepted: probably they would not; but I must try.

   I entered the shop: a woman was there. Seeing a respectably-dressed

person, a lady as she supposed, she came forward with civility. How

could she serve me? I was seized with shame: my tongue would not utter

the request I had prepared. I dared not offer her the half-worn

gloves, the creased handkerchief: besides, I felt it would be

absurd. I only begged permission to sit down a moment, as I was tired.

Disappointed in the expectation of a customer, she coolly acceded to

my request. She pointed to a seat; I sank into it. I felt sorely urged

to weep; but conscious how unseasonable such a manifestation would be,

I restrained it. Soon I asked her 'if there were any dressmaker or

plain-workwoman in the village?'

   'Yes; two or three. Quite as many as there was employment for.'

   I reflected. I was driven to the point now. I was brought face to

face with Necessity. I stood in the position of one without a

resource, without a friend, without a coin. I must do something. What?

I must apply somewhere. Where?

   'Did she know of any place in the neighbourhood where a servant was

wanted?'

   'Nay; she couldn't say.'

   'What was the chief trade in this place? What did most of the

people do?'

   'Some were farm labourers; a good deal worked at Mr. Oliver's

needle-factory, and at the foundry.'

   'Did Mr. Oliver employ women?'

   'Nay; it was men's work.'

   'And what do the women do?'

   'I knawn't,' was the answer. 'Some does one thing, and some

another. Poor folk mun get on as they can.'

   She seemed to be tired of my questions: and, indeed, what claim had

I to importune her? A neighbour or two came in; my chair was evidently

wanted. I took leave.

   I passed up the street, looking as I went at all the houses to

the right hand and to the left; but I could discover no pretext, nor

see an inducement to enter any. I rambled round the hamlet, going

sometimes to a little distance and returning again, for an hour or

more. Much exhausted, and suffering greatly now for want of food, I

turned aside into a lane and sat down under the hedge. Ere many

minutes had elapsed, I was again on my feet, however, and again

searching something- a resource, or at least an informant. A pretty

little house stood at the top of the lane, with a garden before it,

exquisitely neat and brilliantly blooming. I stopped at it. What

business had I to approach the white door or touch the glittering

knocker? In what way could it possibly be the interest of the

inhabitants of that dwelling to serve me? Yet I drew near and knocked.

A mild-looking, cleanly-attired young woman opened the door. In such a

voice as might be expected from a hopeless heart and fainting frame- a

voice wretchedly low and faltering- I asked if a servant was wanted

here?

   'No,' said she; 'we do not keep a servant.'

   'Can you tell me where I could get employment of any kind?' I

continued. 'I am a stranger, without acquaintance in this place. I

want some work: no matter what.'

   But it was not her business to think for me, or to seek a place for

me: besides, in her eyes, how doubtful must have appeared my

character, position, tale. She shook her head, she 'was sorry she

could give me no information,' and the white door closed, quite gently

and civilly: but it shut me out. If she had held it open a little

longer, I believe I should have begged a piece of bread; for I was now

brought low.

   I could not bear to return to the sordid village, where, besides,

no prospect of aid was visible. I should have longed rather to deviate

to a wood I saw not far off, which appeared in its thick shade to

offer inviting shelter; but I was so sick, so weak, so gnawed with

nature's cravings, instinct kept me roaming round abodes where there

was a chance of food. Solitude would be no solitude- rest no rest-

while the vulture, hunger, thus sank beak and talons in my side.

   I drew near houses; I left them, and came back again, and again I

wandered away: always repelled by the consciousness of having no claim

to ask- no right to expect interest in my isolated lot. Meantime,

the afternoon advanced, while I thus wandered about like a lost and

starving dog. In crossing a field, I saw the church spire before me: I

hastened towards it. Near the churchyard, and in the middle of a

garden, stood a well-built though small house, which I had no doubt

was the parsonage. I remembered that strangers who arrive at a place

where they have no friends, and who want employment, sometimes apply

to the clergyman for introduction and aid. It is the clergyman's

function to help- at least with advice- those who wished to help

themselves. I seemed to have something like a right to seek counsel

here. Renewing then my courage, and gathering my feeble remains of

strength, I pushed on. I reached the house, and knocked at the

kitchen-door. An old woman opened: I asked was this the parsonage?

   'Yes.'

   'Was the clergyman in?'

   'No.'

   'Would he be in soon?'

   'No, he was gone from home.'

   'To a distance?'

   'Not so far- happen three mile. He had been called away by the

sudden death of his father: he was at Marsh End now, and would very

likely stay there a fortnight longer.'

   'Was there any lady of the house?'

   'Nay, there was naught but her, and she was housekeeper'; and of

her, reader, I could not bear to ask the relief for want of which I

was sinking; I could not yet beg; and again I crawled away.

   Once more I took off my handkerchief- once more I thought of the

cakes of bread in the little shop. Oh, for but a crust! for but one

mouthful to allay the pang of famine! Instinctively I turned my face

again to the village; I found the shop again, and I went in; and

though others were there besides the woman I ventured the request-

'Would she give me a roll for this handkerchief?'

   She looked at me with evident suspicion: 'Nay, she never sold stuff

i' that way.'

   Almost desperate, I asked for half a cake; she again refused.

'How could she tell where I had got the handkerchief?' she said.

   'Would she take my gloves?'

   'No! what could she do with them?'

   Reader, it is not pleasant to dwell on these details. Some say

there is enjoyment in looking back to painful experience past; but

at this day I can scarcely bear to review the times to which I allude:

the moral degradation, blent with the physical suffering, form too

distressing a recollection ever to be willingly dwelt on. I blamed

none of those who repulsed me. I felt it was what was to be

expected, and what could not be helped: an ordinary beggar is

frequently an object of suspicion; a well-dressed beggar inevitably

so. To be sure, what I begged was employment; but whose business was

it to provide me with employment? Not, certainly, that of persons

who saw me then for the first time, and who knew nothing about my

character. And as to the woman who would not take my handkerchief in

exchange for her bread, why, she was right, if the offer appeared to

her sinister or the exchange unprofitable. Let me condense now. I am

sick of the subject.

   A little before dark I passed a farmhouse, at the open door of

which the farmer was sitting, eating his supper of bread and cheese. I

stopped and said-

   'Will you give me a piece of bread? for I am very hungry.' He

cast on me a glance of surprise; but without answering, he cut a thick

slice from his loaf, and gave it to me. I imagine he did not think I

was a beggar, but only an eccentric sort of lady, who had taken a

fancy to his brown loaf. As soon as I was out of sight of his house, I

sat down and ate it.

   I could not hope to get a lodging under a roof, and sought it in

the wood I have before alluded to. But my night was wretched, my

rest broken: the ground was damp, the air cold: besides, intruders

passed near me more than once, and I had again and again to change

my quarters: no sense of safety or tranquillity befriended me. Towards

morning it rained; the whole of the following day was wet. Do not

ask me, reader, to give a minute account of that day; as before, I

sought work; as before, I was repulsed; as before, I starved; but once

did food pass my lips. At the door of a cottage I saw a little girl

about to throw a mess of cold porridge into a pig trough. 'Will you

give me that?' I asked.

   She stared at me. 'Mother!' she exclaimed, 'there is a woman

wants me to give her these porridge.'

   'Well, lass,' replied a voice within, 'give it her if she's a

beggar. T' pig doesn't want it.'

   The girl emptied the stiffened mould into my hands and I devoured

it ravenously.

   As the wet twilight deepened, I stopped in a solitary

bridle-path, which I had been pursuing an hour or more.

   'My strength is quite failing me,' I said in a soliloquy. 'I feel I

cannot go much farther. Shall I be an outcast again this night?

While the rain descends so, must I lay my head on the cold, drenched

ground? I fear I cannot do otherwise: for who will receive me? But

it will be very dreadful, with this feeling of hunger, faintness,

chill, and this sense of desolation- this total prostration of hope.

In all likelihood, though, I should die before morning. And why cannot

I reconcile myself to the prospect of death? Why do I struggle to

retain a valueless life? Because I know, or believe, Mr. Rochester

is living: and then, to die of want and cold is a fate to which nature

cannot submit passively. Oh, Providence! sustain me a little longer!

Aid!- direct me!'

   My glazed eye wandered over the dim and misty landscape. I saw I

had strayed far from the village: it was quite out of sight. The

very cultivation surrounding it had disappeared. I had, by

cross-ways and by-paths, once more drawn near the tract of moorland;

and now, only a few fields, almost as wild and unproductive as the

heath from which they were scarcely reclaimed, lay between me and

the dusky hill.

   'Well, I would rather die yonder than in a street or on a

frequented road,' I reflected. 'And far better that crows and

ravens- if any ravens there be in these regions- should pick my

flesh from my bones, than that they should be prisoned in a

workhouse coffin and moulder in a pauper's grave.'

   To the hill, then, I turned. I reached it. It remained now only

to find a hollow where I could lie down, and feel at least hidden,

if not secure. But all the surface of the waste looked level. It

showed no variation but of tint: green, where rush and moss overgrew

the marshes; black, where the dry soil bore only heath. Dark as it was

getting, I could still see these changes, though but as mere

alternations of light and shade; for colour had faded with the

daylight.

   My eye still roved over the sullen swell and along the moor-edge,

vanishing amidst the wildest scenery, when at one dim point, far in

among the marshes and the ridges, a light sprang up. 'That is an ignis

fatuus,' was my first thought; and I expected it would soon vanish. It

burnt on, however, quite steadily, neither receding nor advancing. 'Is

it, then, a bonfire just kindled?' I questioned. I watched to see

whether it would spread: but no; as it did not diminish, so it did not

enlarge. 'It may be a candle in a house,' I then conjectured; 'but

if so, I can never reach it. It is much too far away: and were it

within a yard of me, what would it avail? I should but knock at the

door to have it shut in my face.'

   And I sank down where I stood, and hid my face against the

ground. I lay still a while: the night-wind swept over the hill and

over me, and died moaning in the distance; the rain fell fast, wetting

me afresh to the skin. Could I but have stiffened to the still

frost- the friendly numbness of death- it might have pelted on; I

should not have felt it; but my yet living flesh shuddered at its

chilling influence. I rose ere long.

   The light was yet there, shining dim but constant through the rain.

I tried to walk again: I dragged my exhausted limbs slowly towards it.

It led me aslant over the hill, through a wide bog, which would have

been impassable in winter, and was splashy and shaking even now, in

the height of summer. Here I fell twice; but as often I rose and

rallied my faculties. This light was my forlorn hope: I must gain it.

   Having crossed the marsh, I saw a trace of white over the moor. I

approached it; it was a road or a track: it led straight up to the

light, which now beamed from a sort of knoll, amidst a clump of trees-

firs, apparently, from what I could distinguish of the character of

their forms and foliage through the gloom. My star vanished as I

drew near: some obstacle had intervened between me and it. I put out

my hand to feel the dark mass before me: I discriminated the rough

stones of a low wall- above it, something like palisades, and

within, a high and prickly hedge. I groped on. Again a whitish

object gleamed before me: it was a gate- a wicket; it moved on its

hinges as I touched it. On each side stood a sable bush- holly or yew.

   Entering the gate and passing the shrubs, the silhouette of a house

rose to view, black, low, and rather long; but the guiding light shone

nowhere. All was obscurity. Were the inmates retired to rest? I feared

it must be so. In seeking the door, I turned an angle: there shot

out the friendly gleam again, from the lozenged panes of a very

small latticed window, within a foot of the ground, made still smaller

by the growth of ivy or some other creeping plant, whose leaves

clustered thick over the portion of the house wall in which it was

set. The aperture was so screened and narrow, that curtain or

shutter had been deemed unnecessary; and when I stooped down and put

aside the spray of foliage shooting over it, I could see all within. I

could see clearly a room with a sanded floor, clean scoured; a dresser

of walnut, with pewter plates ranged in rows, reflecting the redness

and radiance of a glowing peat-fire. I could see a clock, a white deal

table, some chairs. The candle, whose ray had been my beacon, burnt on

the table; and by its light an elderly woman, somewhat

rough-looking, but scrupulously clean, like all about her, was

knitting a stocking.

   I noticed these objects cursorily only- in them there was nothing

extraordinary. A group of more interest appeared near the hearth,

sitting still amidst the rosy peace and warmth suffusing it. Two

young, graceful women- ladies in every point- sat, one in a low

rocking-chair, the other on a lower stool; both wore deep mourning

of crape and bombazeen, which sombre garb singularly set off very fair

necks and faces: a large old pointer dog rested its massive head on

the knee of one girl- in the lap of the other was cushioned a black

cat.

   A strange place was this humble kitchen for such occupants! Who

were they? They could not be the daughters of the elderly person at

the table; for she looked like a rustic, and they were all delicacy

and cultivation. I had nowhere seen such faces as theirs: and yet,

as I gazed on them, I seemed intimate with every lineament. I cannot

call them handsome- they were too pale and grave for the word: as they

each bent over a book, they looked thoughtful almost to severity. A

stand between them supported a second candle and two great volumes, to

which they frequently referred, comparing them, seemingly, with the

smaller books they held in their hands, like people consulting a

dictionary to aid them in the task of translation. This scene was as

silent as if all the figures had been shadows and the firelit

apartment a picture: so hushed was it, I could hear the cinders fall

from the grate, the clock tick in its obscure corner; and I even

fancied I could distinguish the click-click of the woman's

knitting-needles. When, therefore, a voice broke the strange stillness

at last, it was audible enough to me.

   'Listen, Diana,' said one of the absorbed students; 'Franz and

old Daniel are together in the night-time, and Franz is telling a

dream from which he has awakened in terror- listen!' And in a low

voice she read something, of which not one word was intelligible to

me; for it was in an unknown tongue- neither French nor Latin. Whether

it were Greek or German I could not tell.

   'That is strong,' she said, when she had finished: 'I relish it.'

The other girl, who had lifted her head to listen to her sister,

repeated, while she gazed at the fire, a line of what had been read.

At a later day, I knew the language and the book; therefore, I will

here quote the line: though, when I first heard it, it was only like a

stroke on sounding brass to me- conveying no meaning:-

   '"Da trat hervor Einer, anzusehen wie die Sternen Nacht." Good!

good!' she exclaimed, while her dark and deep eye sparkled. 'There you

have a dim and mighty archangel fitly set before you! The line is

worth a hundred pages of fustian. "Ich wage die Gedanken in der Schale

meines Zornes und die Werke mit dem Gewichte meines Grimms." I like

it!'

   Both were again silent.

   'Is there ony country where they talk i' that way?' asked the old

woman, looking up from her knitting.

   'Yes, Hannah- a far larger country than England, where they talk in

no other way.'

   'Well, for sure case, I knawn't how they can understand t'one

t'other: and if either o' ye went there, ye could tell what they said,

I guess?'

   'We could probably tell something of what they said, but not all-

for we are not as clever as you think us, Hannah. We don't speak

German, and we cannot read it without a dictionary to help us.'

   'And what good does it do you?'

   'We mean to teach it some time- or at least the elements, as they

say; and then we shall get more money than we do now.'

   'Varry like: but give ower studying; ye've done enough for

to-night.'

   'I think we have: at least I'm tired. Mary, are you?'

   'Mortally: after all, it's tough work fagging away at a language

with no master but a lexicon.'

   'It is, especially such a language as this crabbed but glorious

Deutsch. I wonder when St. John will come home.'

   'Surely he will not be long now: it is just ten (looking at a

little gold watch she drew from her girdle). It rains fast, Hannah:

will you have the goodness to look at the fire in the parlour?'

   The woman rose: she opened a door, through which I dimly saw a

passage: soon I heard her stir a fire in an inner room; she

presently came back.

   'Ah, childer!' said she, 'it fair troubles me to go into yond' room

now: it looks so lonesome wi' the chair empty and set back in a

corner.'

   She wiped her eyes with her apron: the two girls, grave before,

looked sad now.

   'But he is in a better place,' continued Hannah: 'we shouldn't wish

him here again. And then, nobody need to have a quieter death nor he

had.'

   'You say he never mentioned us?' inquired one of the ladies.

   'He hadn't time, bairn: he was gone in a minute, was your father.

He had been a bit ailing like the day before, but naught to signify;

and when Mr. St. John asked if he would like either o' ye to be sent

for, he fair laughed at him. He began again with a bit of a

heaviness in his head the next day- that is, a fortnight sin'- and

he went to sleep and niver wakened: he wor a'most stark when your

brother went into t' chamber and fand him. Ah, childer! that's t' last

o' t' old stock- for ye and Mr. St. John is like of different soart to

them 'at's gone; for all your mother wor mich i' your way, and

a'most as book-learned. She wor the pictur' o' ye, Mary: Diana is more

like your father.'

   I thought them so similar I could not tell where the old servant

(for such I now concluded her to be) saw the difference. Both were

fair complexioned and slenderly made; both possessed faces full of

distinction and intelligence. One, to be sure, had hair a shade darker

than the other, and there was a difference in their style of wearing

it; Mary's pale brown locks were parted and braided smooth: Diana's

duskier tresses covered her neck with thick curls. The clock struck

ten.

   'Ye'll want your supper, I am sure,' observed Hannah; 'and so

will Mr. St. John when he comes in.'

   And she proceeded to prepare the meal. The ladies rose; they seemed

about to withdraw to the parlour. Till this moment, I had been so

intent on watching them, their appearance and conversation had excited

in me so keen an interest, I had half-forgotten my own wretched

position: now it recurred to me. More desolate, more desperate than

ever, it seemed from contrast. And how impossible did it appear to

touch the inmates of this house with concern on my behalf; to make

them believe in the truth of my wants and woes- to induce them to

vouchsafe a rest for my wanderings! As I groped out the door, and

knocked at it hesitatingly, I felt that last idea to be a mere

chimera. Hannah opened.

   'What do you want?' she inquired, in a voice of surprise, as she

surveyed me by the light of the candle she held.

   'May I speak to your mistresses?' I said.

   'You had better tell me what you have to say to them. Where do

you come from?'

   'I am a stranger.'

   'What is your business here at this hour?'

   'I want a night's shelter in an out-house or anywhere, and a morsel

of bread to eat.'

   Distrust, the very feeling I dreaded, appeared in Hannah's face.

'I'll give you a piece of bread,' she said, after a pause; 'but we

can't take in a vagrant to lodge. It isn't likely.'

   'Do let me speak to your mistresses.'

   'No, not I. What can they do for you? You should not be roving

about now; it looks very ill.'

   'But where shall I go if you drive me away? What shall I do?'

   'Oh, I'll warrant you know where to go and what to do. Mind you

don't do wrong, that's all. Here is a penny; now go-'

   'A penny cannot feed me, and I have no strength to go farther.

Don't shut the door:- oh, don't, for God's sake!'

   'I must; the rain is driving in-'

   'Tell the young ladies. Let me see them-'

   'Indeed, I will not. You are not what you ought to be, or you

wouldn't make such a noise. Move off.'

   'But I must die if I am turned away.'

   'Not you. I'm fear'd you have some ill plans agate, that bring

you about folk's houses at this time o' night. If you've any

followers- housebreakers or such like- anywhere near, you may tell

them we are not by ourselves in the house; we have a gentleman, and

dogs, and guns.' Here the honest but inflexible servant clapped the

door to and bolted it within.

   This was the climax. A pang of exquisite suffering- a throe of true

despair- rent and heaved my heart. Worn out, indeed, I was; not

another step could I stir. I sank on the wet doorstep: I groaned- I

wrung my hands- I wept in utter anguish. Oh, this spectre of death!

Oh, this last hour, approaching in such horror! Alas, this

isolation- this banishment from my kind! Not only the anchor of

hope, but the footing of fortitude was gone- at least for a moment;

but the last I soon endeavoured to regain.

   'I can but die,' I said, 'and I believe in God. Let me try to

wait His will in silence.'

   These words I not only thought, but uttered; and thrusting back all

my misery into my heart, I made an effort to compel it to remain

there- dumb and still.

   'All men must die,' said a voice quite close at hand; 'but all

are not condemned to meet a lingering and premature doom, such as

yours would be if you perished here of want.'

   'Who or what speaks?' I asked, terrified at the unexpected sound,

and incapable now of deriving from any occurrence a hope of aid. A

form was near- what form, the pitch-dark night and my enfeebled vision

prevented me from distinguishing. With a loud long knock, the newcomer

appealed to the door.

   'Is it you, Mr. St. John?' cried Hannah.

   'Yes- yes; open quickly.'

   'Well, how wet and cold you must be, such a wild night as it is!

Come in- your sisters are quite uneasy about you, and I believe

there are bad folks about. There has been a beggar-woman- I declare

she is not gone yet!- laid down there. Get up! for shame! Move off,

I say!'

   'Hush, Hannah! I have a word to say to the woman. You have done

your duty in excluding, now let me do mine in admitting her. I was

near, and listened to both you and her. I think this is a peculiar

case- I must at least examine into it. Young woman, rise, and pass

before me into the house.'

   With difficulty I obeyed him. Presently I stood within that

clean, bright kitchen- on the very hearth- trembling, sickening;

conscious of an aspect in the last degree ghastly, wild, and

weather-beaten. The two ladies, their brother, Mr. St. John, the old

servant, were all gazing at me.

   'St. John, who is it?' I heard one ask.

   'I cannot tell: I found her at the door,' was the reply.

   'She does look white,' said Hannah.

   'As white as clay or death,' was responded. 'She will fall: let her

sit.'

   And indeed my head swam: I dropped, but a chair received me. I

still possessed my senses, though just now I could not speak.

   'Perhaps a little water would restore her. Hannah, fetch some.

But she is worn to nothing. How very thin, and how very bloodless!'

   'A mere spectre!'

   'Is she ill, or only famished?'

   'Famished, I think. Hannah, is that milk? Give it me, and a piece

of bread.'

   Diana (I knew her by the long curls which I saw drooping between me

and the fire as she bent over me) broke some bread, dipped it in milk,

and put it to my lips. Her face was near mine: I saw there was pity in

it, and I felt sympathy in her hurried breathing. In her simple words,

too, the same balm-like emotion spoke: 'Try to eat.'

   'Yes- try,' repeated Mary gently; and Mary's hand removed my sodden

bonnet and lifted my head. I tasted what they offered me: feebly at

first, eagerly soon.

   'Not too much at first- restrain her,' said the brother; 'she has

had enough.' And he withdrew the cup of milk and the plate of bread.

   'A little more, St. John- look at the avidity in her eyes.'

   'No more at present, sister. Try if she can speak now- ask her

her name.'

   I felt I could speak, and I answered- 'My name is Jane Elliott.'

Anxious as ever to avoid discovery, I had before resolved to assume an

alias.

   'And where do you live? Where are your friends?'

   I was silent.

   'Can we send for any one you know?'

   I shook my head.

   'What account can you give of yourself?'

   Somehow, now that I had once crossed the threshold of this house,

and once was brought face to face with its owners, I felt no longer

outcast, vagrant, and disowned by the wide world. I dared to put off

the mendicant- to resume my natural manner and character. I began once

more to know myself; and when Mr. St. John demanded an account-

which at present I was far too weak to render- I said after a brief

pause-

   'Sir, I can give you no details to-night.'

   'But what, then,' said he, 'do you expect me to do for you?'

   'Nothing,' I replied. My strength sufficed for but short answers.

Diana took the word-

   'Do you mean,' she asked, 'that we have now given you what aid

you require? and that we may dismiss you to the moor and the rainy

night?'

   I looked at her. She had, I thought, a remarkable countenance,

instinct both with power and goodness. I took sudden courage.

Answering her compassionate gaze with a smile, I said- 'I will trust

you. If I were a masterless and stray dog, I know that you would not

turn me from your hearth to-night: as it is, I really have no fear. Do

with me and for me as you like; but excuse me from much discourse-

my breath is short- I feel a spasm when I speak.' All three surveyed

me, and all three were silent.

   'Hannah,' said Mr. St. John, at last, 'let her sit there at

present, and ask her no questions; in ten minutes more, give her the

remainder of that milk and bread. Mary and Diana, let us go into the

parlour and talk the matter over.'

   They withdrew. Very soon one of the ladies returned- I could not

tell which. A kind of pleasant stupor was stealing over me as I sat by

the genial fire. In an undertone she gave some directions to Hannah.

Ere long, with the servant's aid, I contrived to mount a staircase; my

dripping clothes were removed; soon a warm, dry bed received me. I

thanked God- experienced amidst unutterable exhaustion a glow of

grateful joy- and slept.