Several years ago, while attending a communications course, I experienced a most unusual process. The instructor asked us to list anything in our past that we felt ashamed of, guilty about, regretted, or incomplete about. The next week he invited participants to read their lists aloud. This seemed like a very private process, but there's always some brave soul in the crowd who will volunteer. As people read their lists, mine grew longer. After three weeks, I had 101 items on my list. The instructor then suggested that we find ways to make amends, apologize to people, or take some action to right any wrongdoing. I was seriously wondering how this could ever improve my communications, having visions of alienating just about everyone from my life.

    instructor n. 教師　　

    wrongdoing n. 壞事、不道德行為　　

    alienate v. 疏遠(yuǎn)

    The next week, the man next to me raised his hand and volunteered this story: 

    "While making my list, I remembered an incident from high school. I grew up in a small town in Iowa. There was a sheriff in town that none of us kids liked. One night, my two buddies and I decided to play a trick on Sheriff Brown. After drinking a few beers, we found a can of red paint, climbed the tall water tank in the middle of town, and wrote, on the tank, in bright red letters: Sheriff Brown is an s.o.b. The next day, the town arose to see our glorious sign. Within two hours, Sheriff Brown had my two pals and me in his office. My friends confessed and I lied, denying the truth. No one ever found out.

    sheriff n. 治安官　　

    buddy n. 密友、伙伴　　

    s.o.b. （縮寫）畜生、狗娘養(yǎng)的

    "Nearly 20 years later, Sheriff Brown's name appears on my list. I didn't even know if he was still alive. Last weekend, I dialed information in my hometown back in Iowa. Sure enough, there was a Roger Brown still listed. I dialed his number. After a few rings, I heard: 'Hello?' I said: 'Sheriff Brown?' Pause. 'Yup.' 'Well, this is Jimmy Calkins. And I want you to know that I did it.' Pause. 'I knew it!' he yelled back. We had a good laugh and a lively discussion. His closing words were: 'Jimmy, I always felt badly for you because your buddies got it off their chest, and I knew you were carrying it around all these years. I want to thank you for calling me...for your sake.' " 

    yell v. 大叫、忍不住笑　　

    sake n. 緣故、理由

    Jimmy inspired me to clear up all 101 items on my list. It took me almost two years, but became the springboard and true inspiration for my career as a conflict mediator. No matter how difficult the conflict, crisis or situation, I always remember that it's never too late to clear up the past and begin resolution.

    springboard n. 出發(fā)點(diǎn)　　

    mediator n. 調(diào)停者

    幾年前，我參加了一個(gè)人際關(guān)系方面的課程，其間有過一次獨(dú)特的經(jīng)歷。老師要求我們列出過去自己曾感羞愧、負(fù)疚、缺憾和悔恨的事情。一周后他請(qǐng)大家大聲宣讀自己所列的清單。這看起來有涉隱私，但確總有勇敢之人自告奮勇。聽了別人的陳述，我的清單愈發(fā)長(zhǎng)起來，3周之后竟達(dá)101條之多。之后老師建議我們想法彌補(bǔ)缺憾，向別人真誠(chéng)道歉，采取行動(dòng)來糾正自己的過失。我對(duì)此舉能夠增進(jìn)我的人際關(guān)系深表疑惑，相反卻認(rèn)為這只能使彼此更加疏遠(yuǎn)。 

    一周后，我身旁的一位老兄舉手發(fā)言，講了如下這個(gè)故事： 

    我在列舉清單時(shí)，想起高中時(shí)發(fā)生的一件事情，我在衣阿華州的一個(gè)小鎮(zhèn)長(zhǎng)大。鎮(zhèn)上有個(gè)我們孩子們都討厭的官員。有天晚上，我和兩個(gè)伙計(jì)決定要捉弄這個(gè)叫布朗的官員一番。喝了幾瓶啤酒，找到一罐紅顏料，我們爬到鎮(zhèn)子中央的高高水塔之上，在上面用鮮紅的顏料寫道：“布朗是個(gè)狗娘養(yǎng)的”。第二天，鎮(zhèn)上的人們起來后都看到了我們的“大作”。兩小時(shí)后，布朗把我們3個(gè)人弄到他的辦公室。我的伙計(jì)們承認(rèn)了錯(cuò)誤而我卻撒謊抵賴、蒙混過關(guān)。 

    這事都快過去20年了。今天布朗的名字出現(xiàn)在我的清單上。我不知道他是否仍在人世。上個(gè)周末，我給衣阿華州的家鄉(xiāng)打電話查問，果然有個(gè)叫羅杰-布朗的先生。我于是給他打電話。鈴聲響了幾下后，我聽到：“喂，你好。”我問：“你就是那個(gè)叫布朗的官員？”那邊沉默了一下，“是的。”“那好，我是吉米-考金斯，我想告訴你那事我也有份。”又是沉默。“我早就知道。”他嚷道。我們于是大笑，相談得很愉快。他最后說：“吉米，我一直為你感到不安，因?yàn)槟愕幕镉?jì)們都已摘掉了心病，而你這么多年卻一直掛在心上。我想應(yīng)該感謝你打來電話……這是為你著想。”